The city is changing again. Just when I think I have a grip on it, something shifts.
Last night’s fitful sleep leaves behind a shadow of drowsiness. I should be closing my eyes but something pulls me out of bed.
Shuffling into the lounge, I make my way towards the balcony door and pull aside the blinds. I have seen this hazy sun before. Everything around me glimmers; Canary Wharf, the crane which popped up from nowhere, and the green watering can filled with rain water; all bathed in the bright Sunday morning light.
Reaching out, I touch the glass and immediately realise it’s cold outside. Warmth washes over me as I reach to take a sip of fresh coffee…something else catches my eye. A bundle of paper held together with a bulldog clip. Basking in the sun, it sits there on the side. Waiting, watching; my unfinished book.
The Christmas channel has started back again; 24 hours of non-stop made-for-TV movies. My mind leaps back to last year and the week I watched nothing but festive films back to back, wrapped up in a feather duvet.
I smile as I look up at the pale blue cloudless sky.
For some strange reason I jump to the cemetery in which my mum’s body lies. There is no headstone. I try to picture the morning sun splashing through the trees and onto the damp grass below. She’s out there somewhere, the woman who lives in my dreams.
And as I take another sip of coffee, I can’t help but wonder if I will ever stop looking for her.
I love the way our minds take walks of their own, to see things dream things and be things we never thought possible or noticed before. I like the fact that we can stay perfectly still and see things change around us.
I think you're right! But I guess that's the beauty of life. And yes, it makes me chuckle to notice how the mind goes off on its own little journey sometimes.
In answer to the final question: My guess is probably not. Isn't it fascinating how the mind wanders…
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I love the way our minds take walks of their own, to see things dream things and be things we never thought possible or noticed before. I like the fact that we can stay perfectly still and see things change around us.
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I think you're right! But I guess that's the beauty of life. And yes, it makes me chuckle to notice how the mind goes off on its own little journey sometimes.
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Totally! It is amazing isn't it. And I love the times when clarity comes from a place of stillness.
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